These days chat-up lines are considered cringe-worthy and futile, usually reeled out by cretinous and lecherous men who are just trying to get their end away. But sometimes the line can be rather telling of the man behind it. As long as they immediately explain that the line was in jest...
I'm sure most women will agree that if asked “I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours instead?”, we would more than likely just stare bemused for a few seconds before sighing and shaking our heads. Come up with something that forces us to think (and make us smile) however, and you may just have our attention. Unless you're The Gosling. then you could say anything, we'd be too busy staring at your face.
Personally I am extremely partial to a good pun, and as a classic sapiophile can quite easily be drawn in by someone who can engage me in some witty wordplay.
Here is a list of some lines that amused me somewhat:
"Billions of neutrinos penetrate you every second. Can I join them?" - Clever, but that's quite enough penetration for one second.
"I wish I were your derivative so I could lay tangent to your curves." - A tame one. This guy is looking for cuddles.
"Let me be your integral so I can be the area under your curves." – You can be my integral as long as you're not an indefinite integral. You know, with no specific values. Too nerdy?
"If I were an enzyme I'd be a DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes." - If someone knew what a DNA helicase was, I may just let them...
"You’re like telophase, I admire your cleavage." – At least they're not just openly staring at it. Always a bonus.
"Are you sitting on the F5 key? Because your ass is refreshing." – My initial thoughts were 'it would be impossible to sit solely on the F5 key', nevertheless I enjoyed it.
"Are you full of beryllium, gold and titanium? Because you're BE-AU-TI-FUL." – A simple, ELEMENT-ary line...
"Do you have 11 protons? Because you're sodium fine." – I can't help but think this would be totally lost if not said in the right accent.
"You are so hot you denature my proteins." – So, so sexy.
"Your eyes are like limpid pools of primordial ooze and I am the protozoa that wish to swim in their depths." - Yeah, this one might be a tad much...
Now if you think the object of your affection may be more partial to a literary reference you could try these:
Is your name Katniss, because you're starting an uprising in MY district. - A little sleazy but some decent punning.
And if all else fails you can't beat the immortal words of The Bard himself:
"You have witchcraft in your lips" - Good old Shakesy. Passionate and to the point.
Now, we women aren't blameless when it comes to affairs of the heart so here is one to use on a lady that may have wronged you. Or may indeed just be Satan incarnate:
"Did it hurt? When you crashed through the crust of the Earth on your ascent from hell?"
A twist on the classic 'fell down from heaven'...
And here is one to use on NO ONE:
"Does this rag smell like chloroform?" - If you hear this RUN.
