Last night I went to Almost Famous to
get my mouth around one of their succulent burgers and thought I'd
stumbled upon some sort of eighties/nineties theme night when I saw
not just one but THREE of the waitresses with scrunchies in their
hair. It nearly put me off my burger. It's not just here either, they're popping up EVERYWHERE. I
know a throwback to the nineties is all trendy right now but
this is crossing the line. Too far, TOO BLOODY FAR.
When exactly did it become acceptable
to start wearing these monstrosities again? Especially when there are
a plethora of other hair-tying devices at our disposal these days. A
friend of mine once used her lace thong (clean obviously) to tie up
her barnet and personally I think that this is a better option.
There are only two times we should
allow the use of a scrunchie in public. 1. Fancy dress. 2. If there
is absolutely nothing else you could use and your hair is greasier
than Spencer Matthews. On second thoughts, I'd be less offended by
chip-pan hair than a scrunchie.
When I saw pictures of Prince Harry's
new bird Cressida Bonas, who we know through photographic evidence
owns more than one, I was worried for the future of the monarchy.
Kate Middleton would never do this to us.
I'm willing to bet that 80% of East London ladies (maybe even some of the men) now have scrunchies, because they're cool like that, but they're starting to slip onto the heads of everyday people. The minute we see Victoria Beckham wearing one it's game over.
I'd like to propose we start a fashion
bonfire night to burn all of them. We could hold it once a year and
do mass burning of all fashion items that have offended us in the
last twelve months. While we're at it lets chuck crop-tops on there.
I've been subjected to one too many bare, flabby midriffs this year.
If you haven't got it, don't flaunt it.
Let's stop the crisis now before it's too late.
