The first example of this that popped into my head was food envy. I have, on more than one occasion, waited for my dining partner to order and simply chosen the same to avoid the sadness of food envy. Unless the other person orders a dish with fruit on (ie. Hawaiian pizza *shudder*), then I'm ALWAYS the winner. Sometimes menus are the devil, with their abundance of delectable options. After much deliberation, you finally manage to narrow it down. Now there are just two strong contenders vying to be your nutrition for the evening. One decision is all that's between you and a satisfied palate. One of them has just tipped the balance when BAM! Your friend chooses the dish you were about to cast aside. Then come the dreads. Never have you been more unsure of yourself. What if the other dish is a gastronomical triumph and you're left with a flaccid slab of lasagne? It could quite literally leave a sour taste in your mouth for the whole evening.
Why is it that we can be perfectly happy, and actually rather content, with our joy quota until we see someone else who appears to be experiencing a little bit MORE joy. And just like that our joy is shit, we want their joy. Our joy is now so pitiful that it may as well be misery.
Social media (I'm looking at you Facebook and Instagram) definitely perpetuates this tendency to compare ourselves to our peers, but you need to take a step back and realise that what you are witnessing is a completely edited version of a person's life. The photo-shopped version if you will. You may be salivating over the picture of the artfully arranged eggs Benedict creation rolling around Sally's belly this morning, courtesy of some poncy eatery (a lot of my envy involves food it would seem…), but what Sally DIDN'T Instagram was the burnt fried eggs, beans, and oven chips combination that she wolfed down the previous evening. And nothing is sadder than a solid yolk.
We've always done it though. Us humans just can't help ourselves. In the olden days before the creation of the world wide web we'd compare ourselves with the neighbours. "Have you seen Gill's garden? Look at her new bush. Alison always had the biggest bush on the block but Gill's bush is definitely bigger than Alison's bush..."
I bet once upon a time Sir Lancelot had acquired a new courser (yeah, I did my horse research) and was feeling pretty damn good about his trusty steed until King Arthur galloped around the corner on his destrier stallion. "Take that Lancy," thought Arthur, "my horse is bigger than your horse."
So basically, stop doing a comparethemarket.com on your life. And remember, no matter what you do there will always be someone doing (or appearing to do) it better. Don't fret however, there will also be a large number of people doing it far worse.
As Oscar Wilde said; "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken." Morale of the tale; *puts on Oprah voice* stop trying to be the best. Just be the best version of you...
